Thoughts I had when my partner was giving birth

“I wish I was in the waiting room with a cigar right now”

Tv GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

“How can I get some sleep?”

Girl GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

“I should be doing more.”

Giphy Originals GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

“I’m useless”

Warner Archive GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

“Look at her face, not her vagina”

Hulu GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

“That’s the biggest thing I’ve ever seen!” (upon seeing the head for the first time)

Reactions GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

“Don’t say the wrong thing or the nurses will get mad at me”

Reactions GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

“I’m so proud of her!”

Tv GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

“How is she so happy right now?” (when it was over)

Parks And Recreation GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

 

Advertisements

The real thoughts I had while giving birth

“This is a joke”
Seriously guys, this is impossible, right? Where’s the hidden camera? When do we get to the real delivery process because there is no way this thing is coming out of my vagina.

Seinfeld GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

“Please stop breathing on me”
Right before I went into labour my partner ate pizza. While demonstrating breathing techniques is helpful in theory, that night it was just real gross

Gross GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

“I’m gonna poop, I’m gonna poop, I’m gonna poop, f*ck I definitely just pooped”
This is impossible to avoid but totally not a big deal

Music GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

“I’m gonna faint.”
I have never fainted in my life and I thought I was going to faint and it was terrifying

Will Smith GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

“I am a zen master”
The only thing you can focus on is not focussing on any one thing too much

Reactions GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

“I don’t want my partner to see my vagina this way / Please look at what you have done to me”
It went both ways

Crying GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

“I wonder what my mother is doing”
IDK

Idk GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

“You’re doing great, you’re doing great, you’re doing great”
I actually didn’t have a choice in this one because my partner was just constantly whispering it to me and as much as I pretended to hate it I think it helped a lot.

The Office GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

“That is the most beautiful grey slimy alien I have ever seen!”
Actual thoughts the first time I saw my son.

Happy GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

“Why are women not worshipped for the goddesses they are?!”
Seriously!

Woman GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY